WTF: The Hard Conversation That Feels Like Winning the Lottery for Your Soul

Avoidance doesn’t keep the peace. It keeps you stuck. It steals your energy, joy, and confidence. It’s living in a mental Netflix rerun you can’t turn off.

The day you accept that you cannot control anyone else’s reaction is the day you reclaim your power.

Recently, I had one of those conversations I had been dreading. My chest was tight, my palms clammy. But as the words came out—raw and unedited—I shifted. I became calm, grounded, confident.

Why?

Because I was speaking my truth.

Not bending to someone else’s comfort zone. Not performing the people-pleasing dance. Not watering down my values.

When we speak our truth, we stop living in other people’s shadows.

Let’s call this out because I’ve done it, too:

Sending that message via text or email to avoid the discomfort of tone, facial expressions, or conflict.

The problem? The other person reads it through their filters, their mood, and their insecurities. Your truth gets lost in translation.

If the conversation matters, it deserves your voice—in person if possible, or at least over the phone.

If you’re sitting there thinking, “I know I need to have this conversation but I have no idea where to start,” here’s your game plan:

1. Use the Mel Robbins 5-Second Rule. The moment you think, I should say it, count backward: 5-4-3-2-1—and speak. No overthinking.

2. Set the Stage. Especially with interrupters or people who shut down, say: “I need to talk to you. Please let me finish what I have to say before responding.”

3. Anchor Your Points. Not a script—just bullet points so you don’t lose the heart of your message.

4. Regulate Your Nervous System. Breathe in for 4 (nose), hold for 4, exhale for 8 (mouth). Repeat for 60 seconds.

5. Stand in Your Power. Literally. Stand up. It changes your energy and delivery.

6. Use “I” Language. “I feel…” “I’ve noticed…” Keeps the focus on your truth, not accusations.

7. Future Test It. Imagine how you’ll feel an hour, a month, or three months from now—knowing you said the thing.

8. Remember Your Trigger Phrase. “My truth matters more than their reaction.”

If your adult child came to you saying they were avoiding a conversation about something big—a betrayal, an addiction, a dream job—would you tell them to keep quiet to avoid rocking the boat?

Not a chance.

So why give yourself that advice?

You deserve the same love, truth, and courage you’d want for the people you love most.

Saying the words isn’t about confrontation. It’s about living in your light instead of shrinking into someone else’s shadow.

The truth is lighter than the vortex. And the more you speak it, the less terrifying it becomes. You’ll start craving the relief more than you fear the reaction.

So today—don’t overcomplicate it. Don’t script it to death. Don’t wait for perfect timing.

5-4-3-2-1… Say the thing. Win the soul lottery.

P.S. If you’ve been avoiding that conversation and want me to walk you through it, book a complimentary coaching call here. Let’s get you out of the vortex.

With all my gratitude,

Cheryl